Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
