wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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