I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
