The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
