I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
