I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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