conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
