The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm like, not good at living.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
