O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
