I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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