It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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