you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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