We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
