dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
