you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
