I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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