sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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