If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize