How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
