Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
