so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
