i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
