I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
