Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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