do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
