I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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