garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It was confusing and full of hummus
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
