No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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