half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
