so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
