So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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