why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
