he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
