Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
