I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
