too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
