He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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