she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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