i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
