Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
