I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
