I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
