how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
