I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
