I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
