I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
