Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
