That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
