ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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