We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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